We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
