hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
