I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
