I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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