He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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