Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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