Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
