he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize