I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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