Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
