He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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