that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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