he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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