i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
