3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
