if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
