you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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