so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Randomize
