quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
