Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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