i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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