Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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