Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
