Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
