that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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