The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
