super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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