"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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