I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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