kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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