hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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