is your mom at the bar?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
