Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
