I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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