I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize