Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
