Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
