She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
