Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
