Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
