i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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