we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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