Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
