Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
