you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
