My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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