she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They took my balls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
