wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
