I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
