Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
