I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dick very happy bro
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