Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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