just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
