Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize