then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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