Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
we're so committed to being not committed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
