Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
