Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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