Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
