It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize