How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
