I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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